Kindness, Whenever Possible

Today is a tough day. Actually, the weeks leading up are worse. I’m not sure why, but it’s been true every year. But today still feels hard.

We ordered takeout. The food got here and everyone’s excited. The kids are happily getting the table set and ready, pulling all the food out. And their burger (we ordered one big burger for them to split) is missing. My instinct was to be angry. It’s pouring out, now I to go out in the rain, the food will get cold, we paid extra to have it delivered. Annoying. So I called the restaurant. I had words ready. I was prepared to be short and rude. As the phone was ringing, Soley was watching me. And I looked at her and paused. By the time the manager was on the phone, I was friendly and polite. Told her we were missing a burger and I’d be there in five.

I thought, briefly, I was entitled to be angry and rude because it’s a hard day. Because I hate today. Because life feels unfair sometimes. But I remember being back at work waiting tables, two weeks after my sister died, and a woman was so shockingly rude to me because her martini took too long. I went into the kitchen and threw her plate on the floor and it shattered and I sobbed. The kitchen manager came over, walked me to the back, and told me it was okay. It wasn’t okay. But I needed someone to tell me it was.

I made a promise on that day, I’d do my very best to always be kind. Because maybe someone is missing their sister. Maybe someone is trying to get sober. Maybe someone just got diagnosed with cancer. Maybe someone is just lonely and having a hard time. Maybe, if people were kinder, more patient, more forgiving (maybe if I was) - maybe she’d still be here.

And our kids are watching. So for them. For you. For the person struggling today. For Jaime. Just a reminder to lead with kindness.

Eleven years without you. It has yet to get easier, I’ve accepted it never will. But we’ll keep pursuing kindness and love in your memory. Miss you, Jaim. More than you could ever know.

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” - Dalai Lama